You definitely don't wanna make yourself sound like a boring person, neither a chatty girl who just can't keep her mouth shut. Today I would like to share with you an article from The School Of Life, about:
WHAT TO TALK ABOUT ON A DATE
Our initial impulse might be to pick up on a current event, some detail of the environment or a few impressive things about our careers.
But if a date is at heart an audition for the emotional capacities required for the success of a long-term relationship, the real purpose of conversation must be to try to understand the deep self of the other person.
We know we will be doing well if, at a certain point, our date reflects that they’ve never been asked so many psychologically-weighty questions – and are we perhaps some sort of psychotherapist in training…? Such comments playfully reflect how comparatively surface most chat ends up being and how unnerving and yet delightful it can be to sense that for once the focus of another’s interest is firmly on the details of our souls.
This is some of what we might ask in an attempt to take the measure of another’s deeper self:
We’re not only concerned with what goes well for them; we’re accepting of, and curious about their reversals. We know there are painful sides of life for everyone, we’re not going to insist on levity or deny them the right to grieve. We’ll also be sure to tell them in turn what brings tears to our eyes.
Having exchanged these questions, and others like them, over many hours, we may feel something odd starting to happen: we may sense ourselves falling a little in love. The process isn’t mysterious. It’s just that we’re getting to know one another’s deeper selves, with all the longings, errors, terrors, regrets, weaknesses and fears involved. There is simply nothing more seductive than this kind of mutual self-revelation, love being in large part the gratitude we register when we feel accepted and seen – as well as the compassion we experience when another person lets down their defences and trusts that we will be kind to them.
Supplementary Early Date Conversation Options
– How did your childhood leave you less than ideally equipped for life?
– Which of your friends do you envy the most?
– What do you worry about in the middle of the night?
– What kind of character trait that you don’t possess do you find attractive in others?
– What do you look for in a very close friend?
– What too often goes wrong in conversation?
– What kind of ideal extra sibling would you have wanted to have?
– Complete the sentence: When I start to like someone, I worry that…
– Complete the sentence: If I was not so shy, I would…
– Complete the sentence: If someone truly knew me, they would…
– In what respects are you still the same person you were as a child?
– What would you like to change about yourself?
– In what ways is your family especially odd?
– What are you prone to be addicted to?
– What do you fear people might say about your behind your back?
– List your top three worries in your life at the moment.
– What has been the role of money in your family?